BURNAY: A Reflection on God's Test

I was happy to attend the last prayer meeting of Lingcod Alabang and I was even happier to be with a group who has a lot to share for an allotted short time of sharing. I felt like the time was not enough so I can only have this blog to continue my sharing. When God really inspires, there's just no way ignoring it.

the presence of a new guest (like me) in the group prompted us to talk about God's Test. hmm, as a teacher and a psychologist, tests are not new to me...and to us all for we were once students who had to spend sleepless nights to pass them. there were also times when examinations are fun, u know, the times when we had to devise plans to pass with vengeance hehe! i am one of the guilty ones! there was one time when i had to look sick so i could ask for an excuse because i was too busy to prepare for exams. there were many other tactics but i'd rather not mention them here... lest i won't be allowed to join lingcod activities anymore! i was so guilty to graduate as cum laude.. well, life makes us naughty sometimes, doesn't it?

but is God's test really like the test that we had when we were students? u know, the usual objective of knowing whether the student have learned or not. or is it like the test given by a psychologist to determine the personality of a person.

i'd say neither.

the bible tells us that God knows us more than we know ourselves. that even before we were born he already knows and loves us. you see, he's a lot better than the most modern ultrasound! more than that, he knows how many hair strands we have and not a single hair from our head would fall without his knowledge. pretty amazing this god is. what's there about my hair that he is so concerned about? i am flattered hehe! not a single person ever gave me that attention. not even i to my self!

if God knows us so much, then what's the use of the test? why would he test me when he already knows me? if God knows how weak i am with my struggles then why would he still allow me to be tempted? he already knew that i would fall, that i would be broken and that i would be under anxiety but why would he still allow such to happen? why does he allow too much pain? what is in the mind of this God? is he simply a sadist?

before you become irritated with my choice of words and before you call me a blasphemer let me introduce to you another concept of a test.

in my province, especially in vigan, we make "burnay" or clay vase/pot. burnay's simplicity makes it elegant and truly a work of art. however, the process of making it is not as simple as its look. ilokanos had to search for the best soil, had to process the soil and had to manually mold it. but wait there is more (borrowed line from bro. luke), and here comes the second concept of a test, the new burnay had to be tested in heat for many hours. then it would be ready for export.

what happens after burnays are tested with heat? amazingly, they'll have their unique character and beauty. some becomes hard as quality necessitates, some cracks and still others would look deformed. it is important to note (sounding like a real thesis) that the deformed ones become the most expensive ones because their unique look can never be copied manually or by any modern technology.

and i would like to believe that God's test is like that. our God necessarily allows us to be tested not for him to know if we could pass but for us to become our best. for us to become stronger... and for us to become a real testament of His unique beauty. if not for our test then we would never be able to live up to His calling for us. if not for our struggles and pain we would never be strong enough to be His child and servant. if we will not be wounded then we will never see how he himself was wounded and even died for us all.

i have a lot of deformities. God has given me a lot of tests that left me with many scars. but these scars do not give me shame. on the contrary, it is them that makes me a beautiful and priceless child of God. and i cannot thank him enough for all the struggles that i had, and for all the struggles that will still come. All praise and glory be to Him!